On Tenderness, Softness, and Love

Remove the physical effects:

Anger and fear can also affect the physical body, so releasing physical tension eases the inner body, emotions and thought flow. Try this simple relaxation method to allow the flow of softness and love.

· Sit comfortably, gently closing your eyes.

· Relax your hands and fingers, feeling the tension reducing.

· Let your shoulders drop.

· Bring your awareness to your face, dropping your jaw and relaxing your mouth.

· Feel all your facial muscles softening.

· Allow your breathing to naturally slow down.

· With each breath your mind is relaxing and letting go.

· When you are ready, slowly open your eyes.

I recall advice once given by an associate to another who had been disturbed by negative gossip. Softly and gently, he said, “We must treat each other with tenderness and care”. So simple, universal, and profound in its application.

Compassion and love:

We can try to transform ourselves to become instinctively responsive with love and a smile, or with a little joke, instead of sarcasm and insults. This small exercise can help to change from strong emotions in the heat of an argument, to compassion and love instead.

· Imagine a scene or evoke a memory where you were arguing with someone and responded with anger, or if you hurt someone with harsh words. What was the outcome?

· Now imagine yourself in that same scene, thinking that the person is there with you.

· During the argument you realize it is not going to lead you anywhere and will disturb your consciousness for the rest of the day.

· You terminate it in the middle, perhaps saying “I am sorry” and taking a step back. Pause and take a deep breath, connecting with a state of love and tenderness. Choose the wiser option.

· To help reinforce a more loving response to similar situations, you can note it in your journal, even rehearsing it so that it becomes more natural.